Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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