I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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