Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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