hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
