it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
