Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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