literally had 100 drinks last night.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
