I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
