Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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