I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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