You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
