Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
People in love make me want to vomit
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
