apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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