is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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