It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
