It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
