with your own penis?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
