I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
