girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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