So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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