Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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