I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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