yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
