Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
