My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
