you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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