"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
