it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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