The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
