Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
