She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
