It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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