sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Never underestimate the power of titties
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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