So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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