i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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