If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
