Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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