I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
