I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
