also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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