One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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