Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize