Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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