Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
it was like his penis was on wheels.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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