Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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