You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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