It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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