im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
birth control should be required to get into college
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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