Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
