This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
