So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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