What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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