When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
