I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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