i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
