its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
