I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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