god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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