remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
