dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
