I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
