I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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