life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
