some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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