they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
