I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
zippers are such a cool invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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