Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
