got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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