Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
