C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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